TIPS ON REDEEMING YOURSELF FROM A LIFE TIME OF BEING A COMPLETE BITCH!
1. Champion a charity cause! Especially one that includes a really sick kid or fluffy kittens/puppies! People fall for that soppy shite and your tarnished reputation will begin to be redeemed!
2. Instead of letting an old lady be dragged under the wheels of a car, help her across the road! Only when there is a crowd of people to witness the event though! If you do this people will think you are a really good person! If there is no crowd then don�t bother! There�s no point! Let the old bag get what she�s deserves!
3. If you go into a pub and there is a collection box for blind donkeys, then put money in it! Again, make sure there are witnesses other wise what the hell is the point! If there are no witnesses, rob it bitch! After all, if a donkey is blind, it�s probably on its way out and the money will be wasted on it anyway!
4. Go to church! Or at least pretend you are going to church! Walk through the doors of the church and sit at the back. As soon as the service starts, slip out quietly and go to the sauna! In the meantime people will think you have seen the light!
5. Tell everyone you�ve got a really serious illness! People fall for that kind of thing! Make sure it�s one of those illnesses that take ages to kill you! In the meantime try and be nice to people, otherwise they will tire of your bleeding heart story due to your past as a vicious old bitch!
6. Pretend you like someone like Cliff Richard or Dana! People will think you are quite a nice person after all even though you have shite taste in music!
7. If you see a disabled person playing a musical instrument in the street with a collection bucket in front, then go over and pretend you are putting money in and flick the side of the bucket really loud so that people think you�ve put lots of money in! You will go up in peoples expectations! �.if there�s people around who you know! If there aren�t then rob money out of the collection box and try again later!
8. Get a volunteer job in an old peoples home serving tea�s and coffee�s. Lovingly feed the old person in front of all the visitors! If no visitors then, again, don�t bother! Just throw the hot water at the old person and tell her to shut the foook up as she is severely scolded!
9. Rob a debit/credit card and go along to a charity auction and bet on an item being auctioned for a really worthwhile cause! Make sure you win, after all, it ain�t your card! Collect your winning item and then leave! People with think you are a really nice person!
10. DON�T BOTHER CHANGING YOUR WAYS!! Cos people really don�t give a stuff! It seems that people prefer bitches anyway! So carry on spreading your vileness to the world!
HERE IS A PIC OF ME FROM 1996��I�M THE ONE ON THE RIGHT BY THE WAY! I DON�T KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS ON MY HEAD��OH THE 90�S!
THE THEME WAS KINKY, THE VENUE WAS ESSENTIAL, THE NIGHT WAS KINKY BENDER!!! IT WAS SO GOOD, EVEN TYRA BANKS THOUGHT IT WAS�����..
WE HAVE AN ACTION PACKED WEEK COMING UP! KICKING OFF THE WEEKENDS ACTIVITIES AT ESSENTIAL IS �RETRO FLIP�! SO GET YOUR 60�S, 70�S, 80�S AND 90�S OUTFITS ON AND GET IN FREE BEFORE 11.30, YES FREE BEFORE 11.30 IN COSTUME!
SATURDAY IS THE GORGEOUS RETURN OF �STRANGEWAYS�, SO BE PREPARED TO BE BANGED UP!!
STRANGEWAYS IS FOLLOWED BY MORNIN GLORY DOWNSTAIRS AT QUEER BAR AT THE RICHMOND ST ENTRANCE!
SUNDAY SABBATH ROUNDS OFF THE WEEKEND ROUND AT QUEER BAR WITH DJ THADDEUS ON THE DECKS!
THE REFURB IN ESSENTIAL IS GOING SPECTACULARLY WELL! WAIT UNTIL IT�S FINISHED, IT IS GONNA LOOK GORGEOUS! MAJOR WORK HAS BEEN GOING ON AND YOU WON�T BE DISAPPOINTED! OOOOOOH!!
SO UNTIL RETRO FLIP ON FRIDAY, TAKE CARE
CHRISSY DARLING XX
